


The First Time I Felt My Heart

by Navygoldstars



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Getting Together, POV Alternating, Panic Attacks, Teamwork, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23877571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Navygoldstars/pseuds/Navygoldstars
Summary: What if Isobel didn’t remember Noah after coming out of the pod in S1? As she remembers, she wonders if she can trust her memories. And, combats new memories and feelings arising, especially for Kyle Valenti.
Relationships: Isobel Evans/Kyle Valenti, Kybel
Comments: 12
Kudos: 11





	1. PART I

**Author's Note:**

> Kybel is my favorite non canon OTP so wanted to share this S1 divergence I started a VERY long time ago. I happy I was finally able to finish it haha Definitely the longest I have written up to now!
> 
> I am really looking forward to the exploration of Isobel’s (and Kyle's) sexuality, especially if it means more bisexual or wlw representation! 
> 
> I did add some details from S2 but may have combined and moved things around from S1 for this fanfic's sake :) 
> 
> Title comes from Before I Knew by Basia Bulat

Isobel gasped and reached out in front of herself, grabbing at nothing in the dark. Like taking a breath after being submerged underwater, her throat burned with each swallow.

“Woah woah, you’re okay Iz. It’s me, Max.” A man stood in front of her gently holding her up and wrapping a blanket around her. The softness of a sarape with loose threads felt cool enough for her to shiver. She coughed and hacked until her breathing gained some normalcy. She dabbed at the water on her skin.

“Isobel?” Concern laced his voice. 

She focused in on the that tone and breathed out his name. “ _Max.”_

He hugged her tightly. She could feel his relief through their embrace and when they broke apart his eyes were glossy. He coughed then handed over a tasteful silver tote bag and turned to give her some privacy. The sunlight was starting to peak through the cave.

She tried not to think about how the bag matched the color of the pod she had been in _._ She hurriedly threw on the loose blouse and pants, suddenly anxious to leave. Max toed at the dirt and spoke up.

“We missed you. Michael had to stay in town but Noah is going to be so glad to see you.”

“Who’s Noah?” She asked genuinely. He whipped around and started at her, quizzically.

“What?”

He put one hand on his hip and ran the other through his hair. She knew that stance. He was in problem solving mode, but why? The sound of footstep echoed into the cave, coming closer. Liz Ortecho and her long brown curled hair stepped into their space.

“Is everything okay?” Liz asked, looking at Max and then her. Max sighed.

“Call Kyle.”

* * *

Isobel understood Max doing his whole big brother routine but Kyle Valenti and Liz Ortecho suddenly being intimately involved in her life? No, absolutely not. Especially not while she could still potentially hurt someone. Max was in the other room debriefing them on what she supposed was when and how they were going to be administering that antidote Liz synthesized.

She desperately hoped Liz had come up with something. She beat back her worries sitting in a cold abandoned exam room at the hospital.

She smelled oil and whiskey through the cracked open door. Michael hovered there with his signature black cowboy hat in his hands, shirt haphazardly tucked into his jeans and grease stains on his hands. It looks like he had at least made an attempt to scrub them. Her heart ached. She has missed him and Max so much.

“Come to bust me out of here or what?” She crossed her legs and leaned back on the exam table.

“You remember me, Iz?” He slid into the pristine white room like a shadow, quiet and quick.

“I could recognize you by scent alone.” He scoffed. “You have got to restrict Wild Pony nights to a couple times a week.”

She opened her arms and he collapsed into them. For once, she didn’t resent the smell of the car engines that he worked on. She gently squeezed at the back of his neck, nestling her nails briefly in his curly hair.

He grinned as he pulled away from her. “You’re one to talk. Hopefully, you won’t be ghosting us anymore.”

The door opened all the way. Max, Liz and Kyle coming in single file. Michael kept an arm on her shoulder and stood by her side.

“What happened to patient-doctor confidentiality? Just give me a clean bill of health so I can get that antidote.” She motioned to the group. Kyle dragged a stool so that he could sit in front of her.

“I can definitely do that. After I complete my examination. I’m actually like a doctor and everything.” Kyle gestured to his white coat and tapped at the letters on the edge, _MD_.

“Fine.” She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

He asked her some routine questions. Name, year, last memory but Max passed him a phone and swiped to show Kyle a picture.

“Isobel, do you know who this is?” He held out the phone to her and gave her a moment to look.

A picture of an attractive man in a suit. Hair slicked back, fit, insanely adorable smile but Isobel couldn’t say she had ever seen him before in her life. The hair on her arms raised but she shook her head.

“Tell me what is going on.”

They all seemed sheepish until Max stepped forward.

“Iz.. this is Noah Bracken. He’s your husband.”

Isobel blinked, speechless. She glanced between him and Max and gingerly took the phone from Kyle’s hands. The man in the picture was a stranger to her.

“Can I--- do you think I’ll ever be able to remember him?”

“Maybe?” Liz spoke up beside Max and stepped forward “We don’t truly know the effect of the serum had. Or what the antidote I created will do at this point. We’re not sure why he’s the only thing you can’t seem to remember. But Isobel, Noah doesn’t know about you and your brothers. You can’t see him. At least not yet.” 

Isobel glared at her but Liz continued on. She felt a silent pang for the fact that she must be living a double life, if her husband knew nothing.

“The antidote might help you regain some of what you lost.”

Michael crossed his arms and shook his head. “What if it makes it worse and she loses more of her memory?”

“If I can use some of your blood..” Liz turned to Max who nodded.

“No!” Isobel exclaimed, exasperated. “You are not using my brother like some science experiment.”

“Iz, I want to do this for you.”

“Max—”

Michael stood in front of Max. “Why don’t you let her decide?”

“Michael, she could really use –”

“Enough!” Kyle raised his hands in surrender when they all turned in his direction. “Look, I know this is going to sound insane. It doesn’t involve anything cool like alien blood juju but why don’t you just wait? Sometimes the brain needs time to heal. Noah doesn’t know she’s back already, right?”

Liz, Max and Michael all shook their heads. Isobel shrugged.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows. “Airstreams too small. She can’t stay with me.” She appreciated that he sounded sad about it.

“Or me.” Max said. “Too many suspicions. Liz?”

She shook her head as well. _Thank goodness for small miracles._ They all turned to Kyle who stared blankly back at them. Isobel felt some kind of relief when he threw his hands up in the air and murmured something about reaching out to Alex Manes and the old Valenti cabin.

“Hey roomie.” She grinned.

“First of all, I don’t live there. Second, I am taking your blood pressure daily. And mine.” He pointed to his heart. She winked.

He looked up at the ceiling as if trying to seek divine guidance. Maybe some type of alien assistance? Ultimately, he wasn't sure if either would help him in this case and decided to get back to work. 

* * *

Day one of “rehab” in a cabin in the middle of nowhere was safe but maddening. Kyle and Liz had headed to the hospital for work and Max went to the station. Michael and Alex seemed like they were going to be occupied with research with promises to come back.

It was a little boring to be honest but whoever had possessed her and murdered Rosa Ortecho was still out there.

 _At least Alex Manes had great taste in coffee_ , she thought as she poured the grounds into the top of the coffee maker, checked the water and clicked a button. She went to grab a coffee mug and felt her vison tunneling around her.

_She was in a room surrounded by white lilies and lavender accents with Michael and Max. They looked younger. A light breeze passed through the open french window and she breathed in the smell of the flowers. Michael was serving up drinks for a toast. She was wearing a form fitting white lace gown, blonde hair tied and twisted ornately at the top. She was admiring herself in the mirror._

_“You look beautiful, Iz. How are you feeling?” Max stood behind her in the mirror. His sleeves were rolled up, bowtie hanging loosely around the collar of his shirt. His brown eyes never left hers._

_“Thank you, Max. Ready for that drink now.” She abandoned the mirror to face them both. Michael fake bowed and passed her a glass filled to the top with champagne._

_“I should be with a bunch of bridesmaids right now, you know? Instead I’m here with my brothers.” She joked._

_“And you should be so honored.” Michael scoffed._

_Michael looked handsome in a white collared shirt with matching black pants and blazer. It was the first time Isobel had seen him wearing anything other than jeans and torn up tees. She wondered if her Mom had somehow bullied him into it. Judging by the cowboy boots he sported, she guessed there had been a compromise._

_“I wish I could tell Noah.” She stopped before bringing the glass to her lips and took in a deep breath._

_It was selfish. They had all sacrificed so much and she couldn’t bear anything happening to her brothers but she still wanted to tell him. Surprisingly, they both looked sympathetic but resigned._

_“I know Iz, it’s just not safe. For you or for him.”_

_“I know. It’s just..I love him, Max.” She briefly wondered if Max would ever get over Liz Ortecho. Michael’s gaze she could not decipher. If he ever had fallen in love, he had kept it a secret._

_The clink of glasses was the only noise in the room and they tossed back the champagne. The bubbles burned her throat on the way down._

_They joined hands in a pact and her brothers kissed her on the cheek before taking their leave._

_Then, a ceremony. The man at the end of the aisle, smiling and welcoming her. When the she drew him in for a kiss, she tasted champagne and smelled the hint of cigar smoke and aftershave. She knew, alien or not, she would be with Noah Bracken forever._

“Iz!” She heard a cry. _Michael?_ She blearily opened her eyes and realized she was lying on the cold tile of the kitchen floor.

She saw the outline of a person. Kyle was crouched over her. Behind him, Michael and Alex stood, concerned. She pushed herself up by her elbow while Kyle helped her sit up fully.

“Valenti? What just happened?”

“You tell me. Last vitals I took you were healthier than me.” He hurriedly reached toward a black bag and pulled out a stethoscope. His hand gently touched her chest where he checked her heart rate. She shivered.

“I just had like a flash… I don’t know. A memory. You were there Michael. It was my wedding day. You served me the good champagne.” She grimaced at the pain in her head.

“You _do_ remember.” Michael gave her small grin. He and Alex came closer and helped her up to stand.

Kyle chimed in. “So, Michael confirmed the memory was real and it did have some relation to Noah. This is a good thing. Blood pressure is fine. Any other symptoms?” He studied her face, his dark brown eyes intent for any signs of distress.

“My head is killing me.” Kyle quickly dispensed two pills from a bottle and served up some water for her to take it with.

Alex bit his lip. “You know, Kyle, maybe you should stay here with Isobel for a few weeks. Just to make sure she’s okay if this happens again.” He shared a look with Isobel to see if she agreed.

“I think what I really need is the antidote.”

“Isobel, you just passed out.” Michael furrowed his brows and crossed his arm over his chest.

“Exactly! When I took it before, I kind of went overboard. Liz can even administer it. Not a lot, just enough to help keep this memory thing going. Come on, I can’t stay in this cabin forever.” She paused. “No offense, Alex.”

“None taken.”

Kyle agreed reluctantly. Alien memory loss was so not in his scope. Hell, just weeks ago, he learned about their existence. He convinced himself that he wasn’t totally useless. If anything, Isobel could at least trust him to keep her secret.

The Evans’ had probably never been to a doctor in their lives, too afraid to be prodded at. He would do everything to make sure Isobel never had to experience that. Liz was the best bet Isobel had, for better or worse.

Isobel stared pleadingly at him. _Damn medical license,_ he thought _. Why do I have to be the authority on this?_

“I’ll have Liz come by tomorrow. I’ll bring an overnight bag.” Her green eyes lit up in triumph.


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cohabitation comes with it's highs and lows.
> 
> \---warning for a panic attack near the end of the chapter.

At nightfall, Kyle shut the door of his car at the cabin. His day at the hospital had been an incredibly long shift of colds, flus and a few traumas. He gently drew his shoulders back until he felt a small pop. As he got to the door, Liz and Max pulled up in their cars.

They greeted each other and walked inside. He noticed that Isobel and Max gravitated immediately to each other by the fireplace. _Must be a twin thing_ , he thought.

“How are you?” Max asked Isobel, hand resting on her shoulder.

“Honestly? I want to know what the hell is really going on.”

Kyle saw the same vulnerable Isobel Evans he glimpsed when she was admitted at the hospital. The duality of her personality had stunned him then. He had always known her to be a confident, sophisticated event planner. This Isobel wanted to know she wasn’t hurting anyone. Now, he could say that Isobel may be an alien with incredible abilities but she was also just trying to be a good person.

His heart clenched at the thought of someone taking advantage of her. Whoever had was the real person responsible for Rosa’s death.

Liz approached Isobel. “I was thinking that if I can give you just a small dose of the antidote, maybe it could help.”

“Let’s do it.”

Liz walked out of the cabin to retrieve the antidote in the car.

“Well, she’s certainly prepared to stab me.” Max and Kyle gave her an exasperated look. “With a needle. I’m _joking_ Max.”

Liz came back in, sat Isobel down and succinctly wiped her forearm with an alcohol wipe. The injection was a bee sting that made the corner of Isobel’s eyes water.

“Okay, I gave you a microdose. You absolutely let us know if anything happens.” She nodded, feeling oddly comforted by Liz Ortecho. Obviously, time in the pod had affected her brain. 

Max came up to her and enveloped her in a hug. “We’re here for you.”

She squeezed him back. When they were young, they would race into each other’s room whenever they had a nightmare and talk endlessly until one of them fell asleep. She wished they could do that now but it was clear she would have to deal with this on her own.

Max and Liz bid them goodnight and took their leave together. 

When Kyle waved them off and closed the door. Isobel was standing close to him giving him a familiar concentrated stare.

“Trying to take off my shirt again, Evans?”

Her face relaxed. “Couldn’t hurt to try.”

“How about we watch some TV?”

He took a seat next to her on the couch and they relaxed back into its comfy arms.

* * *

Living with Kyle Valenti was surprisingly simple. Some days he was gone long hours due to his hospital shifts but she had stupidly agreed to not use her powers unless he was there. Liz wasn’t sure what effect the antidote still coursing through her veins would have on her powers.

When Kyle was around, they actually enjoyed meals together, watching TV and ragging on each other about fitness routines. It almost felt _domestic_ to Isobel, which caused her to feel irrationally guilty. Her memories of Noah were returning but few and far between.

She needed to be alone and really see how much her powers had changed if at all. She had pulled out all the glass she could find and staged them at different parts of the house.

“Fine.” Kyle took a seat in the living room, taking out his phone and crossing one leg over the other. He looked quite serene sitting in his post workout joggers and hoodie, hair spiked in all directions.

Isobel placed both hands on her hips. “You’re getting awfully comfortable for someone who should be leaving. Now.” Her black cowboy boot tapped the tile once.

“You want to practice your powers, great. I’m not leaving you here to suffer through another blackout. Plus, I’ve been monitoring your headaches.”

She thought they had cleared this up. He would leave for a few hours and she would go full Matilda on the disposable decorations Alex had approved to be destroyed. Maybe.

“Why? Are you afraid I’m going to hurt someone? That’s the whole point of me doing this alone!”

 _I don’t want to hurt you._ Her head was already pounding without this nonsense.

Kyle looked pained. “I don’t want you to be alone! And I don’t want you to be afraid like you were in the hospital, okay? It’s kind of terrifying to see the great Isobel Evans inches from death’s door and it’s not something either of us wants to live through, alright?”

“What Kyle? You think because we’ve been forced to live together that you know me? You have no idea what this has been like! You have no idea what I’ve lost!”

The sound of shattering glass surrounded them from the kitchen. She didn’t feel any headache coming on but it felt like a hollow victory.

“Hey.” Kyle stood up abruptly, his face twisted as if he had been punched. “I may not know what you’re going through but I do know a thing or two about loss.”

He grabbed the stethoscope and checked her vitals. He was succinct and barely kept eye contact. She shivered when the cold metal of the stethoscope touched her skin. Or maybe it was the loss of his skin to hers. He was silent when he packed up his medical bag and walked out the door.

* * *

She was sure that he had packed up his bags and left but the next morning the saw a coffee stained cup in the sink. For the next few days, Kyle routinely got called in for overnights and additional shifts. She wasn’t used to being avoided and she didn’t care for it.

The sizzle of bacon hitting the pan woke her that morning. The image of Kyle cooking over a stove almost broke her brain. He already was a doctor with perfect bone structure who was going above and beyond in helping her. He didn’t need to be good at everything. He twisted to put the crispy bacon on a small platter and noticed her presence. “I got called in to take another shift. I’m leaving in half an hour and I’ll be out of your way.”

Okay, at least those were words. Ugh, she hated this part. She sat down at the stool so that only the kitchen island separated them. 

“Look, I shouldn’t have said what I said Kyle. I’m sorry.” He put down the bacon he was about to scarf down, slack jawed. “Don’t look so surprised. I can say sorry on the extremely rare occasion that I do something wrong.”

He chuckled. “No I -- Me too. I’m sorry I mean. You were right. You’re stable enough to practice your powers without me being there. As your doctor.. as your friend, it was stupid of me to try to stop you. Truce?” He slid the platter of bacon in her direction.

She reached for one and took a bite. They deliciously salty _._ Kyle turned to put the pan in the sink and grab his coffee to sit across from her. He was already dressed in black scrubs, his toned arms reaching out to sneak in a piece of bacon before standing to head to the door. 

“I have to ask this. Were you ever okay after your Dad died?” She couldn’t get what he had said about loss out of her head.

He choked on his last sip of coffee. “Geez Evans, warn a guy.”

She smirked. “Seriously.”

“It took a long time. I had this image of my dad as this great guy. But he kept secrets.” He looked down, disappointed. From what Isobel knew now of Kyle Valenti, he wasn’t the type to tolerate lies. “I wish I had known what he was thinking.”

Isobel stayed silent. Loss of memory wasn’t the same as losing a person, Isobel knew that. If she couldn’t remember Noah and tried to go back to her normal life. Would she be a liar? She would be keeping even more secrets from him that she was now.

“You’ll get back your memories of Noah, Iz.” Kyle gently squeezed her shoulder. She hoped he was right.

* * *

The month flew by. The antidote seemed to be working. It didn’t take away her powers but no more blackouts.

Isobel was inexplicably hit with flashes of Noah Bracken. Flirting, phone calls, how to felt to hold his hand and wake up next to him. God, he was _so_ good. Kind, generous, funny. She could easily see why she fell in love with him. But she didn’t realize how lonely she had been.

Now, she had Max, Liz, Alex and Michael checking in periodically. Kyle made a point of being here as soon as his shifts were over. Yesterday, when dawn broke at the cabin and sunlight pushed through the blinds, she woke and found Kyle passed out on the couch in a plain white tee and sweats.

She reached for the remote to turn off the TV. His eyes were imprinted with dark circles and his arms were crossed to keep out the cold draft. She covered him gently with a blanket and saw the tension leave his face until he was in a relaxed slumber. 

She still couldn’t understand why he was helping her so much after what she did to Rosa. The only conclusion she had was that he was a genuinely good person. Who knew that the bully jock in high school could actually be her friend? Either way, she trusted him.

Day bled into night. They had just finished up watching an episode of _The Bachelorette_ , dwindling down guesses on contestants _._ Turns out reality TV was the best distraction.

“I would totally make to at least the final two, Iz, I’m a doctor, I’m extremely attractive.” he said indignantly, putting the wine bottle down on the coffee table to motion to his face.

“That’s exactly why you wouldn’t make it! Do you even play a guitar or something?” She did her best to not stare at his cheekbones, which yes, did make him even more devastatingly handsome. She shook her head.

He squinted at her before switching to turn off the TV. She relaxed back on the couch and stared intently at him. They had done this routinely. Isobel would try to get Kyle to do something, with his consent of course. He shrugged at her.

“I feel fine. What were you trying to get me to do this time?”

“Pour more wine.” She laughed. “But I think I’ve had enough. So, no blackouts but my powers aren’t totally gone though. Guess I do have to thank Liz for that.” She gazed at the wine glass and moments later it glided across the table to the edge.

Kyle nodded, impressed. “Noah?”

“I remembering more feelings. Moments that would shock you.” She teased. “I feel like I’m almost ready to go home.” _To him._

Kyle, for once, did not return a snarky comment. He gave her a small smile and kept his face alarmingly neutral.

She bid him goodnight and walked down the hall.

Kyle hadn’t felt like this in a while, not since Liz. _She is married Valenti,_ he reminded himself _. She’s just waiting to go back to Noah._

He sighed, took the wineglasses to the sink and went to lay down. 

Isobel pressed her back against the bedroom door and exhaled. Kyle’s eyes had been cast down but undecipherable. She had resisted the urge to brush her hand to his shoulder and comfort him. The distance she felt wasn’t normal for them.

The truth was that her returning memories were clashing with the ones she was making here, not just with Kyle but Alex, Michael, Max. Hell, she even found Liz’s company enjoyable.

She couldn’t have feelings for Kyle Valenti. She was _married_ to Noah, a good person who didn’t deserve to think his wife abandoned him after spiraling out of control. She remembered how protective of her he was at the hospital when she was first admitted.

Max had mentioned he was keeping him at bay with the rehab story but he was getting restless and untrusting. She suppressed those thoughts. She splashed water on her face, changed into pajamas and fell into bed, eyes heavy.

_She was in a cave with Rosa Ortecho._

_“I don’t want to hurt you but you need to leave me alone!” Rosa shouted. It was Isobel who spoke next but she didn’t recognize the timbre or the sinister overtone in her voice._

_“This isn’t me… I’m not Isobel… I can be who you want me to be.” Isobel wanted to somehow save Rosa but was helpless when he grabbed her and covered her mouth. He already killed for her and would kill her if she couldn’t appreciate him. Isobel could feel his fury and the sting of her rejection. Her stomach was twisted in knots._

_When she turned, she saw Michael. His eyes were teary and wide. “What did you do?”_

_She heard that voice, not her own. “She couldn’t be trusted.”_

_“Isobel!” Max yelled and she collapsed._

“Isobel, Isobel!” Kyle was seated beside her in bed, arms extended and shaking her to wake. His hair was plastered on one side and eyes wide.

She grabbed onto his grey cotton tee and buried herself into the crook of this neck.

She couldn’t stop shaking, hot tears cascading uncontrolled from her eyes. Her chest heaved from trying to catch a breath. She was on fire.

“I was with Rosa Ortecho! I remember her--- the night she _died_. She was trying to get out but I stopped her. I didn’t want her to leave. I would have done _anything_ to get her to stay. I-“ She stared at her shaking hands still tangled in the back of his shirt and screwed her eyes shut. Kyle gently ran his hands up and down her back, breathing in profoundly.

“Isobel. Breathe with me. Come on, it’s okay. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Good.” Her hands unclenched from his shirt. She continued breathing in the rhythmic pattern, focusing on the cool touch, the pads of his fingers, the way their fingers would sporadically tighten and relax.

She reluctantly released herself from him and wiped at her eyes with the ends of her white thermal.

“I know it might seem like I’m… _dealing_ with his. _But I’m not_. It terrifies me that I did something that up until now, I had no memory of doing. I _killed_ your sister, Kyle, do you understand that?” She whispered. 

Kyle stared into her eyes. “You were being used Isobel. That wasn’t you. I still don’t know who is but you are not responsible for this.”

Isobel thought of the emotions from her memory. The manipulation, the glee of killing and the instability of his rage.

“Can you stay with me?” The color was slowly returning to her face but her eyes were puffy and tinted red.

Kyle surveyed the room. No arm chair for him to crash on. He motioned for her to scoot over.

“Of course.” He huffed softly and laid facing her. He could stay until she fell asleep at least. “Just so you know, I roll at night.”

She offered him a small smile and gentle roll of her eyes. She back down on her side, facing him and closed her swollen eyes. Exhausted, she fell into a deep sleep. The moonlight reflected on her hair giving her the appearance of a halo and she settled closer to him.

 _He was so screwed._ Kyle closed his eyes, breathing falling into rhythm with Isobel and determined to get as much sleep as he could.


	3. Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isobel faces the truth, for better or worse.

Isobel was warm. She turned her head slightly more into the pillow and opened her eyes wide. _Kyle_. She was in the crook of his arm with her arm splayed across his stomach. He breathed in deeply and exhaled. It had been a long time since she had felt this safe.

An insistent knock at the door startled her back to reality. Kyle grabbed at her arm reflexively as he got his bearings, eyes squinting and seemed to realize who the arm was attached to. He nearly fell out of bed, motioned to the door awkwardly and bolted. Isobel touched where the bed had been warm. She snapped herself awake and hurriedly threw on a sweater to follow him out.

She found Max in the living room, nervously tapping at his beige cowboy hat in his hands. She could feel that something wasn’t right.

“Iz..”

“What’s wrong?”

“Noah was just shot.” She inhaled sharply and Max stepped forward, gently extended his arms to touch her elbow. He guided her to sit down on the couch.

“He’s in stable condition but he’s asking for you. They’re discharging him today.” Max didn’t have to ask her but his eyes said it all.

“I’m going home. Today.” She looked at Kyle whose eyes widened.

“If you’re ready to.” Max bit his bottom lip. “Iz, the lab it was destroyed. There’s no more antidote.”

“Max, we both know this was supposed to be temporary.” She pointedly did not look at Kyle. “I have to go back but maybe Liz can work on another batch? Just in case.”

Max nodded in agreement. “I have to head into work. Liz is already on it. Did you want to hitch a ride with me? Michael and Alex have been looking into leads about the fourth alien but he wants to see you too. We can meet later at your place.”

She got up. “Let me get my bag ready.” Isobel gathered all the items she had brought with her and packed everything into her tote bag. She felt Kyle’s presence in the door but couldn’t bring herself to turn around.

Kyle spoke from the threshold. “Your nightmare last night Iz. I feel like this is too soon. You should stay here.” He swallowed the _with me_. 

It was whispered like a confession. She couldn’t take that right now. Not when she was trying to do the right thing for both of them.

_Why did leaving him feel so hard?_

“Don’t worry Kyle. We’ll always have this cabin.” She finally turned to look at him and it broke her heart. His hands were loose fists at this side and his eyes shone with concern. She almost felt bad for trying to joke about it.

“I thought you fell asleep watching Casablanca.” Kyle was skeptical. She understood him perfectly but it was now or never. “You know you could always come back here if you need.”

She slung her bag over her shoulder and met him at the door of the bedroom. Hours before they had been tangled up and content. Now it was over. He felt the light scrape of her nails on his forearm, his whole body erupting in goosebumps.

“Thank you.” He closed his eyes at the feel of a cool kiss on his cheek. Then, he heard the front door being open and shut.

His cellphone ringtone blared in the new silence. A text from Alex. He immediately dialed his number and only waited one ring for a pickup.

 _“_ Alex, what’s up?” Alex and Michael needed some help decoding a message. Something that maybe his father’s letters revealed?

“I’ll be right there.” He dressed quickly and was out the door before he could dwell too much.

* * *

Max dropped her off when the sun had just crept over the horizon.

She took a deep breath. Her husband was behind that door. She cracked open the door and stepped into the living room. Noah sunken in on was on the couch, a bandage wrapped on his arm. At her appearance, his formerly listless eyes widened in shock.

“Isobel?”

“Noah.” His eyes were bloodshot, a light sheen of sweat on his forehead. He winced when he tried to stand. “No, don’t try to get up.”

She went to his side and motioned for him to sit back down. She felt incredibly awkward suddenly. “How are you?”

He looked so different from the man she had seen in her memories. He flinched and raised his eyebrows incredulously.

“How am I? _Jesus_ Isobel. I got shot! I went to the hospital to see if Liz had any update on you since I was getting nowhere with your Fort Knox brother! But… I—I saw the pods in the cave. You’re not _human_. What the _hell_ are you?”

“Noah, there’s so much I want to explain to you. But please, hear me out. I come in peace.” She raised her hands in front of her and smiled softly in an effort to calm him down. “I’m an alien.”

Noah stared at her warily, a somewhat hysterical glaze in his eyes, his lips twisted in distain. “Isobel, this is crazy! You can’t be—you’re an event planner for goodness sake. I thought you just got out of rehab. Are you on something?”

It took everything she had not to be offended at that. After all, it was surreal but it was the truth. This was what she had always been afraid of.

Given the circumstances, she endeavored to cut him some slack. She nervously toyed with the turquoise necklace around her neck and started with the memory loss. She found that she couldn’t stop the rest of the truth from spilling out. 

“So, you don’t remember me?” He looked hurt by that but there was nothing she could do to comfort him.

“I remember some parts. Really good parts. Some painful parts.” He seemed receptive so far but she knew the hardest was yet to come and could no longer be contained.

“Noah..” She paused. “Max and Michael have a good reason for being so protective of me.”

Noah furrowed his eyebrows. She could only hope she wasn’t making a mistake.

“I killed someone. I-- killed Rosa Ortecho and the two other girls. But—but I swear don’t remember doing it! There was another person in my body. I would have these blackouts and wouldn’t remember anything. I’m so sorry I never told you but Max and Michael are everything to me. They covered up what I did.”

Noah stilled. “Iz, I’m so sorry.” This was the man that she had been seeing in her memories, kind and reassuring. He reached out to grab her hand. “What-What else do you remember about that night?”

“The person who took over me, he’s another alien. But he’s deranged. Liz has this antidote, it helps me not to blackout. Kyle, he’s been helping me. I think I can go back to a normal life. _We_ can. We just have to find out whoever is framing me.” 

A shadow crossed over his eyes.

“Is that right?” His grip on her hand tightened.

“Noah, wha-?”

“You think you killed Rosa? I loved Rosa Ortecho! I did _everything_ for her! I tried to use you so I could get closer to her but she still didn’t trust me. She didn’t love me the way I loved her.”

“You used me? Got into my head and made me think _I_ was a murderer?” Her anger was a bomb set to explode. She could hear a shattering of glass in the kitchen. He turned to her and glared at her.

“You think you can overpower me?” He stalked menacingly towards her.

She felt a presence pushing against her mind, trying to get in.

“No! You are not getting into my head!” He pinned her to the couch.

“You don’t even know _half_ of what you are capable of but you won’t find out.”

She struggled against him and shouted in frustration. He went flying into the mirror behind her, shattering it into pieces. She focused on the bookshelf to his right and before he could lunge at her, it collapsed on him. He was immobile but still breathing from what she could see.

“You shouldn’t underestimate me.” She grimaced. Her legs were sticks barely keeping her standing. The room began to spin and she barely made it to the couch to sit. 

Max, Michael, Alex and Liz burst through the door.

“Iz!” They surrounded her on the couch.

Kyle kneeled in front of her and gently touched his hands to either side of her face. She tilted her face towards his palm and pointed to Noah’s prone body.

“It’s him. He was using me all along. He killed Rosa.”

“Shit.” Michael muttered and exchanged looks with Alex, Max and Liz.

“Max felt that something was wrong. Are you okay?” Kyle’s kindness made her want to shatter. She was still amped from the fight but she knew that she would feel the effects soon enough. 

“Acetone wouldn’t hurt.” She breathed out, locking eyes with Michael.

He nodded and went in search of it. Max hovered protectively behind her and kept a suspicious eye on where Noah was still trapped unconscious under the bookcase.

They would have to move him eventually. Liz stepped closer to Max with her arms crossed fingers digging into her jacket, lips twisted in disgust, eyes narrowed in Noah’s direction.

“We should move him and give him the antidote. Make him powerless.” Max stated.

Michael swiftly returned into the room and dropped the bottle of acetone into Isobel’s waiting hands “No! We need to ask him about Caulfield. He could know if there are more aliens out there, Max!”

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Isobel was beyond confused.

Kyle’s hands dropped from her face. He rose from his squatting position and settled next to her on the couch.

“We discovered information about a potential alien base from some things my Dad had left me. Turns out it was a code that led us to Caulfield prison.”

“My mom was there, Iz.” Michael faced her teary eyed. “She wasn’t the only one! They had been there for years. This whole time! But it just..” He grit his teeth together unable to continue. Alex reached for Michael’s shoulder but hesitated. He returned his hand to his side where he gently gripped the side of his own thigh.

“The facility.. there was a security measure on it. It’s gone. No survivors.” Alex looked down.

Max sighed deeply. “That’s why we should give him the antidote. We’ve already seen how dangerous he is.”

Liz turned to Isobel. “Isobel, what do you think?”

Liz couldn’t realize what she was asking her. Isobel blinked back tears “I don’t know.”

Kyle laced their fingers together. She didn’t want to kill Noah. Though, Noah had committed the murders, she didn’t feel any less responsible and ending his life wouldn’t change anything. 

“Let’s take him to the pods. Trap him forever. Make sure he can never escape.”

Michael let out a frustrated groan. “Isobel—”

“Please Michael! Noah said I was stronger than I knew. After all this is done, we can work together and tap into our powers.” Surprisingly, Max nodded. “We all have more potential. I can feel it. But we won’t live in peace until he’s gone. I know I won’t. Do you trust me?”

Michael gravitated back to Alex as if he was being pulled towards him. Alex looked like he was a minute away from wrapping Michael in his arms or taking a million steps back. Ultimately, they stayed stuck in place. His green eyes bore into hers. “I trust you.”

He turned from her and intently focused on the bookcase atop Noah. It rose and tipped over on it’s side with a resounding thud.

Liz and Max looked at each other and roughly pulled him up to his feet. His head swayed, still unconscious. Liz slapped him hard for good measure.

“He’s still knocked out. Let’s lock him up.”


	4. Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma rears her head to right a wrong. Isobel takes back her life. Kyle unintentionally plans a date.

The bad weather was an omen. Lighting tore across the black sky, not a star in sight. Their cars all pulled up to the caves like swarming bees. As soon as they stepped out of their car, Isobel knew something was wrong. Noah awoke, unsteady and ready to fight. He shoved himself out of Max’s tight grip. He rushed to Isobel and yanked her from Kyle’s side.

Kyle was helpless as an bright blue and purple spherical barrier appeared, consuming Isobel and Noah while blasting him and everyone else back into the sand. Max, Michael, Alex and Liz rushed to the barrier but could do nothing but slam repeatedly on its shell. Michael glared at the structure, intent on shattering it but gasped, falling to his knees. Droplets of water began to fall from the sky.

“What the hell is this?” Kyle asked. His question was returned with frustrated grunts. He turned and Max and Michael were sharing a particular look. Max looked down at his hands and raised one up to the sky. A crack of lightning descended and hit a patch of desert to their right, making Michael and Alex jump.

“Ugh!” Max muttered, clenching and unclenching his fist. Michael seemed to have an epiphany and tapped on Max’s shoulder. He reached out and grabbed on to Max’s hand. He raised a hand towards the shield and Max once again aimed at the sky, electricity pulsing between his fingers. So that explained the random light outages that had been happening throughout town.

Rain began to pour down. Liz looked at him strangely but then they understood. _They were using their powers together to harness enough power to break the shield. The raw power would come from the lighting and Michael’s telekinesis would guide it onto the force field._ He hoped it would work. And fast.

Isobel felt a malicious stain in her mind. Noah was trying to show her glimpses of their first date, wedding day, celebrating job promotions, kissing passionately against the wall of their home…

“No!” She shouted “Stay out!” She would never let him in again. 

She could see a murky aura around him, a greyish grime that prevented her from tossing him out of her mind. She gripped it and tried to pull it down.

“What are you trying to hide from me?” He struggled against her now. She suspected keeping this force field up was weakening him. He was barely resisting her attempts to get into his mind. She continued to needle at the aura.

She caught a glimpse of…Rosa Ortecho? Her eyes were closed, she could see a bare outline of her shoulders, hair floating in stasis in what could only be one of the pods. But where?

“Is she alive? That’s a pod! Where is she, Noah?” She shook his lapels.

“You weren’t supposed to see that!” He snarled, teeth grinding.

“How could I have ever loved you? I could never ever be myself with you!”

“You were desperate to be accepted and loved. It was easy to manipulate you.”

She shoved him away from her, forcefully enough for him to stumble. She glared at him and gave one last yank to the aura around him. It dissolved, twisted and black like necrotic tissue. She could see into his mind. A mirror image of where they stood but monochrome grey and distorted.

“Not so easy now, is it?” She returned. She searched for Rosa’s location in his mind but nothing.

“What are you gonna do Isobel, huh? Save her? She can’t survive without me!” Every time he talked about Rosa a part of the landscape lit up. It must be where she was being kept. They were close to her.

Isobel felt a drop of sweat sliding down her forehead. There was a blazing heat coming from their surroundings. It was her brothers. She could feel their powers breaching the hull of the dome. Noah looked up in horror.

_Isobel!_ she heard Max’s voice echo in her mind. _Keep him there!_

Lightning bolts cracked into the ground illuminating the caves. As the force field cracked, Kyle, Alex and Liz huddled together stunned at the sight in front of them. Max and Michael’s beings were lit up like bright white stars making them look almost unrecognizable. _Extraterrestrial._

Isobel sneered. “Rosa can be without you! And she deserves to rest!”

In that moment, Isobel lifted her hand and seized Noah in place. The force field shattered.

She felt Max and Michael turn their focus on Noah. She felt pure energy coursing through her veins as if she and her brothers were a single entity. Noah screamed in agony. Garish purple bruises formed on his skin. Light spilt through his skin and burst through his body. He collapsed, dead.

The excess lightning, like aftershocks from an earthquake, ran into the caves. A beacon of light shone before disappearing. The rain slowed and stopped.

Isobel, Max and Michael dropped their hands, panting heavily. They stumbled to embrace each other, clothes soaked through. She clutched onto them tightly and tears sprung into the corner of her eyes. The nightmare was over. More importantly, she could tell them all, especially Liz, about Rosa.

They dragged themselves over to Noah’s body. Liz, Alex and Kyle approached cautiously. In disbelief, they all looked down. He was marred in black spider web figures flat against his grey skin. Isobel reached out her hand to Liz.

“Liz?” They all recognized the voice. Liz turned around, slowly. There, exiting the cave, was the figure of a girl that had been gone for ten long years.

“Rosa?”

* * *

Noah Bracken had shockingly confessed to the murders of Rosa Ortecho, Katie Long and Jasmine Frederick. When his wife Isobel Evans confronted him with incriminating evidence, he kidnapped her with the intent to kill her in a similar fashion. She had made a desperate last call to her brother Max Evans, who had been off duty at the time. Max picked up a trail that led him to Isobel and Noah at caves in the outskirts of town.

Max and Noah fought. As strange fate would have it, lighting impaled Noah’s body like a hammer striking a nail and he died instantly. At least that was the official story.

When his murderous past was revealed, the people of Roswell chalked it up to divine justice. Arturo Ortecho wept at his daughter’s name being cleared. He and Liz had set up a beautiful display of marigolds around Rosa’s grave and found it tripled when they drove by the following week.

Rosa Ortecho’s existence was a miracle. Liz could only explain her sister being alive as a result of the huge energy surge caused by the lightning, she, Max and Michael had wielded that night. Isobel, Max and Michael had a long, difficult conversation that ended like this--- _Our secret is ours but we have to share it with those we love. For their safety and ours._

And so, Arturo Ortecho found out his daughter was alive with Isobel’s assistance. She planted a seed for him to see that miracles such as these could exist. Arturo and Rosa decided to leave town for a while. The decision to temporarily close down the diner was heartily supported by Liz. She would meet up with them in about two weeks and they would come to a decision about what to do.

Max was lighter than she had seen in years, content with Liz’s promise to return to Roswell in the coming weeks. Michael and Alex were immersed in looking into another potential alien facility. Michael was still sarcastic but no more hustling or petty crimes and less drinking.

His guard completely dissolved with Alex. It took her back to a hopeful and playful Michael she hadn’t seen since high school. Although he was still defensive at times, it was clear he was changing. Alex offered them all a safe haven to hone their powers at the Valenti cabin where they took advantage when they could. Each time she felt like she was getting stronger.

Isobel opened up commissions for small work events. Mourning Noah was a bitter pill. She couldn’t count the amount picture frames she shattered and pictures she had burned. Every memory with him was tainted by what he had done to her and the guilt she had carried since she discovered the truth.

Rosa was understandably leery. Isobel didn't blame her. They could understand each other. She wouldn’t say they were friends but they weren’t enemies. She felt like they could both move forward and continue healing. 

She took to meeting Kyle Valenti weekly. He was still checking in on how her powers were coming along but if she was being totally honest with herself, she just missed him. Every time they met up lately, it felt like something was going left unsaid. She was going to be brave and say her piece this time. 

The Crashdown was just starting it’s dinner rush when she strode through the doors and noticed Kyle sitting at a corner booth. He was a sight for sore eyes in jeans and a black leather jacket. She ordered some curly fries to share. He was sipping on a soda when he saw her and waved her over. She held up the basket.

“Couldn’t wait for the burgers.”

She motioned to the seat next to his. He moved over to make room for her. Only when she put the basket of curly fries in the middle did he speak. 

“You know...I meant what I said about loss. If you ever want to talk about it. I’m here.” He nervously tapped on the table. 

“Thank you, Kyle.” She grabbed his hand. She couldn’t put into words how much she appreciated it. But she didn’t really want to talk to Kyle about Noah. Not when she had been having dreams about him for the past three nights, sleeping in that bed with him, waking up with him. It was driving her insane how much she wanted that again.

“You know, you kind of know all my secrets. It’s not fair. Tell me something about you that’s life changing.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Have to keep the mystery alive, Evans.”

She raised one eyebrow.

“Fine, fun fact. Me and the nurses go to Planet 7 for happy hour on Wednesdays.” Her jaw dropped comically. “They have good drinks, sorry to Maria and the music is way better, at least for dancing.”

She laughed. She pictured Kyle in a tight black shirt, eyeliner accentuated with bright blue and white crystals along his eyes. He was holding her close, dragging him closer and closer until she could sneak off with him to the bathroom.

“That’s perfect. It’s a date!”

Kyle’s eyebrows skyrocketed. “I mean—yeah! If you want to…we could just go as friends or something.”

“Or you could be my arm candy. I’m supposed to be meeting with the manager anyway. They’re planning a birthday party for one of their bartenders next week and I wanted to check out the venue.” She gave him a cheeky grin.

Kyle bit his bottom lip and tapped at the table. “Isobel, is this too soon? Noah was an important part of your life.” He was tracing small circles on the back of her thumb. It was comforting but distracting.

“Valenti, you’re being--- you. Look, back at the hospital, do you remember that story you told me about wanting to be Dr. McSexy?

He leaned back, slouching against the booth and winced. “Kind of regretting that now, actually.”

“I’m serious!” She turned to face him and looked into his eyes “I knew then that I could trust you. But this whole chivalry thing, while cute, isn’t necessary. We literally lived together for a month or so. You trusted me with my powers and you never judged me, even when you could have. I don’t think you realize how much that meant to me, Kyle. Noah was an important part of my life but he was never honest with me. Not how you were. Is this getting me anywhere?”

“Of course, it is. Have you seen you?" He smiled at her affectionately. "I guess I just don’t want you to have any regrets.”

“Kyle Valenti, I’m appalled that you think I would use Dr.McSexy as a rebound.” She slid her hand from his to rest it under her chin.

He laughed. “Oh, I _so_ regret telling you that so much now. But..you’re right. I do trust you. One of the hardest things I had to do was let you leave. But you’re way stronger than I am.” He took back her hand to press a kiss there.

“I mean, we can definitely test that.” She smirked at his blush. “But first, let’s get a milkshake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to bring back Rosa somehow, love her! The Crashdown is one of my favorite sets from the show so wanted to bring that in as well. Thanks for reading!


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